WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

What is Domestic Violence?
Information adapted from The Missouri Coalition Against Domestic and
Sexual Violence publication The Nature and Dynamics of Domestic Violence.

Domestic violence is a pattern of assaultive or coercive behaviors
that adults or adolescents use against their current or former intimate
partners. Domestic violence occurs in intimate relationships where the
perpetrator and the victim are currently or previously have been dating,
living together, married or divorced. They may or may not have children in
common.

Domestic violence can take many forms. Some types are more subtle than
others and might never be seen or felt by anyone other than the person
experiencing the abuse. The abuser uses a combination of tactics that work
to control the victim. The abuse also usually increases in frequency and
severity over time.

PHYSICAL ABUSE: Physical abuse is easier to recognize and understand than
other types of abuse. Physical abuse can be indicated when the abuser:
· Scratches, bites, grabs or spits at the victim;
· Shakes, shoves, pushes, restrains or throws the victim;
· Twists, slaps, punches, strangles or burns the victim;
· Throws objects, that could possibly cause injury, at the victim;
· Subjects the victim to reckless driving;
· Locks the victim in or out of the residence;
· Prohibits the victim from leaving by blocking the exit;
· Withholds food as punishment;
· Attacks the victim with weapons;
· Makes threats to cause physical harm and/or injury to the victim.

SEXUAL ABUSE: Sexual violence and abuse can be extraordinarily difficult
for victims to talk about because of the ways in which this type of
violence often is perpetrated.
Sexual abuse can be indicated when the abuser:
· Calls the victim insulting sexual names;
· Pressures the victim to have sex, even when s/he does not want to;
· Coerces sex by manipulation or threats;
· Physically forces sex or is sexually violent;
· Coerces the victim into sexual acts that s/he is uncomfortable with,
such as sex with a third party, physically painful sex or verbal
degradation during sex;
· Inflicts injuries that are sex-specific;
· Denies the victim contraception or protection against sexually
transmitted diseases.

PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: It is the abuser's use of physical and sexual force or
threats that gives power to psychologically abusive acts. Psychological
abuse becomes an effective weapon in controlling a victim, because the
victim knows through experience that the abuser will at times back up the
threats or taunts with physical assaults. Psychological abuse can be
indicated when the abuser:
· Verbally attacks and humiliates the victim in private or public;
· Attacks the victim's vulnerabilities, such as language abilities,
educational level, skills as a parent, religious and cultural beliefs
and/or physical appearance;
· Forces the victim to do degrading things;
· Stalks the victim.

Remember - - Every victim of domestic violence has a different and unique
experience. Even if an abuser does not engage in one or more of the
behaviors listed above, his/her intimate partner may still be experiencing
abuse.